Today, the strangest day of the year, no century, I must inform you that Hugh Grant will play the singing, dancing, rooting and beeping Oompa Loompa in the new Wonka movie starring Timothée Chalamet, as the zany chocolatier.
Please take a minute to calm yourself down. sit down. have a drink. take a deep breath.
This very odd nugget of info landed in our hot little hands thanks to CinemaCon, the annual film convention that never fails to deliver the tea.
According to Entertainment Weekly, Hugh Grant made his debut in extended footage at a screening of the Los Angeles Convention on Tuesday.
“Chalamet’s Wonka found an orange-skinned lad in a glass case, in which Grant performed a little jig for the audience’s entertainment. When Wonka arrived on the scene, Oompa Loompa yelled to be let out.” You’re a funny little guy who’s been following me around,” Wonka said,” the publication read.
“‘How dare you!’ Oompa Loompa shot back. I’ll let you know that I’m a perfectly decent size for Oompa Loompa. When Wonka responded in disbelief, Grant’s character went on to sing “A song so ridiculous” The song is so catchy that it may never leave your head” to refresh his memory of Oompa Loompa. Cue the Oompa Loompa dance.
I don’t know about you, but I have never read such an evocative work. It has the rhythm of a crazy horny 14-year-old girl setting the scene in her latest R-rated fanfic. You can cut sexual tension with a knife, or at least a candy cane that’s been sucked so hard it’s like a pointed dagger now.
The singing and dancing situation is arguably the most exciting part of Grant, his doom. People on Twitter wondered if he would pay homage to some of his best past musical work, including Paddington 2 and “PoP! Goes My Heart,” from Music & Lyrics .
Jokes aside, Grant was going to play an Oompa Loompa when director Paul King told audiences at CinemaCon that his character was “no more than knee high,” which was kind of fucked up, according to Entertainment Weekly . like. . . Just hire a dwarf. It’s called representation, people!
In further cooked-up Wonka news, Chalamet revealed that he had to swim in an actual chocolate river and was constantly getting stomach aches on set from eating too much candy. Essentially, it’s Augustus Gloop’s character arc, but IRL.
Wonka hits the big screen on 15<>, just in time for the holidays. Here’s a Christmas present, if you will.